A second for goodbye

While lying next to you,
Yearning for more,
I wonder….
We can have more,
Right?
This world is wrong,
Society falls short,
But we defy it all,
Right?
Now, Don’t look down on me,
I’m not yet broken,
My walls have just fallen,
You cant leave me barren!
Right?
Is your silence a façade?
Are your words lost in my heart?
Is it how it feels to be apart?
We left the sheets tousled,
But didn’t we like it like “that”
Wasn’t freedom the entropy of hearts?
Was i asking “too much”
Craving the agony in your touch.
You are leaving right?
No!!!!
It is not in my head,
I have seen this bed,
When it feels unmade,
After all the love we made,
I breath in to take you home,
But im cut out and
You are long gone.
Right?
Yell it out and say im wrong,
Pull me back if with you I belong,
No, dont do it!
Don’t look down at me like that!
I know you are leaving,
Dont make me hope otherwise.

Who is to say they know?

The gravity of your words,
The supreme silence,
The heavy sighs,
The tone of voices,
The cries In a truth,
The stutter in a breathe,
Unnamed ghosts,
Forgotten afflictions,
Lurking in our dreams.
Strangers of the night,
We are not You and I,
We are yet to be made.

In the now

My dad got into a small car accident when he was driving. Thankfully no one got hurt. But his car had to be towed. I heard the accident had happened from my mom later that day because “they didn’t want to worry me”.

I usually don’t react to bad situations immediately. I’m more worried about people getting the wrong vibe because it takes time for me to deal with it. I just want to fix everything and if I can’t, well that’s frustrating!

The whole point of this post was that I realized the last time I had talked to my dad would have been two days ago if something horrible had occurred;like him dying. So this is how simple our departure would be…I remember we talked on the phone and I told him about some household issues he needed to take care of. I remember I had said to him ” just do what I told you to do”.

At some point during that night, sitting on the edge of my bed trying to make sense of the accident, I had tears in my eyes. I know death or near death experiences bring people together but my dad and I can’t be any more “together” than this. If he had died would he have known I have loved him like he was the only dad I will ever have? I hope so. Would I do anything different to make sure he understands? I doubt it. Somewhere along the way, I think I had lost that dad I always wanted and accepted the one that He was and he and I can’t be anymore defined or closer than today because of this incident. That’s sad but it is better than nothing.

This world if you aren’t careful makes you lose sight of the simplicity of your existence. Most of us don’t feel our presence is important or valued. I, for one, am wary of losses. I hope you the reader have said all that you had to say and done all you can for those dear to your life with every chance you get…some may never realize it and some may feel suffocated…some wont behave like they deserve it…but to few others you mean the pulse to their heartbeat too…so you say it and you show it…thank you.

Anniversary

One night and a look,
Was all the surrender it took.
Forever was just seconds,
Wrapped in goodbyes.