In the now

Posted: August 10, 2015 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

My dad got into a small car accident when he was driving. Thankfully no one got hurt. But his car had to be towed. I heard the accident had happened from my mom later that day because “they didn’t want to worry me”.

I usually don’t react to bad situations immediately. I’m more worried about people getting the wrong vibe because it takes time for me to deal with it. I just want to fix everything and if I can’t, well that’s frustrating!

The whole point of this post was that I realized the last time I had talked to my dad would have been two days ago if something horrible had occurred;like him dying. So this is how simple our departure would be…I remember we talked on the phone and I told him about some household issues he needed to take care of. I remember I had said to him ” just do what I told you to do”.

At some point during that night, sitting on the edge of my bed trying to make sense of the accident, I had tears in my eyes. I know death or near death experiences bring people together but my dad and I can’t be any more “together” than this. If he had died would he have known I have loved him like he was the only dad I will ever have? I hope so. Would I do anything different to make sure he understands? I doubt it. Somewhere along the way, I think I had lost that dad I always wanted and accepted the one that He was and he and I can’t be anymore defined or closer than today because of this incident. That’s sad but it is better than nothing.

This world if you aren’t careful makes you lose sight of the simplicity of your existence. Most of us don’t feel our presence is important or valued. I, for one, am wary of losses. I hope you the reader have said all that you had to say and done all you can for those dear to your life with every chance you get…some may never realize it and some may feel suffocated…some wont behave like they deserve it…but to few others you mean the pulse to their heartbeat too…so you say it and you show it…thank you.

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