Archive for the ‘Heartache’ Category

We were there once. 

Posted: August 8, 2017 in Heartache
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There is a story. On the arches and bows of your magnificent body. There lies my constellation of beautiful dreams with heartwarming endings. There lies a rock with our initials carved like a trademark. There is our innocence with formidable truth that transcended cliches. There I lie awake in the middle of the night to have conversations with your back. Words unspoken with only my eyes on your canvas of unmet promises speak to me. There used to be us. 

No Remedy

Posted: August 6, 2017 in Heartache

You ask how I’m doing,

I say I’m doing “okay”

I learned a while back,

Not to show my scars,

To those who never stay .

Now what?

Posted: July 20, 2017 in Heartache
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What’s missing ?

He wonders,

Nothing,

I lie,

Knowing,

No one,

Will ever

Ever… 

Be you!

I’m drowning you with love,

I’m strangling you with gratitude,

Until your tongue bleeds my name,

Until your heart accepts its place,

My martyr heart clings to no one else.

Even when I let go of you,

Even then….

You still look for me with regret,

You still look at me with regret.

Saturday night 

Posted: June 5, 2017 in Heartache

No one … especially me wants to give up. 

I hear your voice and it digs my grave anew. 

I love you again and again and I want to pour me another glass of wine. Numb down the sheer loss of space in this universe for two people who utterly wanted nothing but the best for each other.

Another day. Another prayer. Another lustful disaster. Another song that reminds me of the last bite of burger we shared. And I cry it out. Curse your name for holding so much of me in one simple word you never dared to say . Love. 

I have a headache now and my thoughts are blurry but one thing is for sure. I will dream of you. And wake up with your name in my lungs, saving me once again.

Reminisce

Posted: May 25, 2017 in Heartache
Tags: ,

When I let go of your hand, I never let go of your heart. It was slow on my part, hopeful. Hopeful that you might one day wake up and realize I was all you ever needed. So I waited and waited, slowly unclasping those fingers that never held me back. 

I never left and I never will. A part of me looks for you in between smiles and unmet dreams. I look for you in his words that tell me I’m beautiful and that he has never met anyone as free as me. Those words echo my insecurity where my sense of freedom is mistaken for easy. I worshipped you and vowed to not be anyone’s anything if I wasn’t going to be your someone. So I wait even now for a place, a word, a poem, a music, a profile picture that tells me I’m not alone. That your heart didn’t let go of me. I have your name tied as my price tag and that’s no way to live. I know that’s not me.

I let go of you slowly hoping you will look back…but you never did.And that’s the saddest part.💔

Guess why I’m fat?

Posted: May 5, 2017 in Heartache

 

Did they tell you?

That I gained some weight,

Look chubbier than last time,

A little bit in pieces,

A little bit drunk,

A little bit dark.

Did they tell you?

I call out your name?

I sleep a little bit better,

I only wish I never wake up.

Did they tell you?

I compare their words to yours,

Your faults their demise,

Your perfections their loss.

Did they tell you?

I am weary of good men,

I am for the bad ones,

I don’t expect much,

The good part of me,

The one we smoked to ashes,

I finished it with you.

Smoked it in goodbyes,

We never dared to say,

The ones that haunt me,

The soot of you,

Keeping me company,

Junk foods that weigh on me.