Archive for May, 2017

Reminisce

Posted: May 25, 2017 in Heartache
Tags: ,

When I let go of your hand, I never let go of your heart. It was slow on my part, hopeful. Hopeful that you might one day wake up and realize I was all you ever needed. So I waited and waited, slowly unclasping those fingers that never held me back. 

I never left and I never will. A part of me looks for you in between smiles and unmet dreams. I look for you in his words that tell me I’m beautiful and that he has never met anyone as free as me. Those words echo my insecurity where my sense of freedom is mistaken for easy. I worshipped you and vowed to not be anyone’s anything if I wasn’t going to be your someone. So I wait even now for a place, a word, a poem, a music, a profile picture that tells me I’m not alone. That your heart didn’t let go of me. I have your name tied as my price tag and that’s no way to live. I know that’s not me.

I let go of you slowly hoping you will look back…but you never did.And that’s the saddest part.💔

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Guess why I’m fat?

Posted: May 5, 2017 in Heartache

 

Did they tell you?

That I gained some weight,

Look chubbier than last time,

A little bit in pieces,

A little bit drunk,

A little bit dark.

Did they tell you?

I call out your name?

I sleep a little bit better,

I only wish I never wake up.

Did they tell you?

I compare their words to yours,

Your faults their demise,

Your perfections their loss.

Did they tell you?

I am weary of good men,

I am for the bad ones,

I don’t expect much,

The good part of me,

The one we smoked to ashes,

I finished it with you.

Smoked it in goodbyes,

We never dared to say,

The ones that haunt me,

The soot of you,

Keeping me company,

Junk foods that weigh on me.

We are like them💔

Posted: May 2, 2017 in Heartache

It hurts to realize it has been days since I last heard of your voice. It’s mind numbing to come to terms that you are better off, that you stopped trying that you would go away when given a chance. Was I the only  one who wanted us to be us? Was infinity not your plan too? They never come back.