One of my friends is getting married. She has been dating this guy for few years and has now decided to call him a husband and wake up next to him every day for the rest of her life. But marriage for most people is the ultimate step as it is for my friend. It wasn’t so much of “I can’t wait to live another day without you in my life’ but more ” so now what “.
I don’t know if couples chose to end up with an ” ultimatum ” or this reality is the general truth for everyone else but I know if I ever get married that I won’t wait till we are “accustomed” to being “us” that we wait for that no point of return that most guys dread. I am afraid of being used to ‘needing’ my man as society in its profound intricate ways has shown me in the past that I am alone in this battle of “more”. But is it fair to settle for marriage like a stage of progression? Is marriage the tool to fix that loose end in a relationship? Would marriage guarantee that he too won’t leave me alone?
My uncle was an alcoholic and his wife says that when they had their first child, he became a ” new” man. Getting married hoping the “kids” might make us better people is a bargain I can’t settle with. Things that should change after getting married are the simple things like your address; not your priorities. I should have been a priority long before he married me and he should have been mine by the time he came part of my prayers.
I am a cynic when it comes to marriage and I believe I am usually misunderstood as being naive. But I would love to build a life together with my partner and grow old to be one and different. I think the union of such partners starts long before they ever knew they wanted to get married. They say that marriage is more important to a woman because it requires and “insures” the man to settle for just one woman. I am no special woman but I hope to not ever be beguiled with socially accepted terms as such and end up with a robot perse.
I am a sucker for romance even when I have had some bumps on that alley but I am not afraid to want more; for I believe more isn’t exactly unattainable or too much to ask. More is to want him like the way you savor the last bite of a cookie; you know you can have more and probably feel it doesn’t get better than this but it does. Life with him will be where you wake up safe; even if volcanoes erupt for in the end of it all, you KNOW he will still be there. It is serene to want him like he is …and marriage or not you are one and more.
Marriage isn’t a pass card that gives us the go to ask for more. I just hope it doesn’t become the only key to a box of happiness. I have never been married so you might think I’m in no place to judge but I am not judging. I am simply putting my fears into words and that always makes sense.