People always lie. They always make you believe they are going to stay around. And almost always they don’t stay. I wish if everyone told only the truth for just one day; one day. I don’t know why people lie and when asked why they always say it was to ‘protect’ you. At the end of the day shouldn’t they have known that the truth is going to come out sooner or later?
I recently broke up with my almost three year’s boyfriend. He was not just a boyfriend; he was my person though I was never his. I had seen the ‘red lights’ as one of my friends put it for the past few months but I thought it was just a phase. Everyone told me that this was what guys did when they wanted to break up with you and I ignored it because I thought he was never that guy and that if he wanted to break up that he would tell me. I had asked him if he wanted to break up once and he said he didn’t want to. So I thought since we were able to talk about these topics that most couples dread to mention that we had an honest relationship no matter how bumpy it was.
I was planning to move to the place he was working at and I mentioned that idea to him and he was psyched. I prayed so hard and I planned it in my head about how great it would be for our relationship. I imagined cooking breakfast, taking walks in the village, studying the USMLE together, and loads of making out sessions in between. It was just going to be what we needed; at least that was what I thought. We had awkward conversations on the phone a lot of times but since we had an awesome chemistry when we were together, I imagined it was just a phase.
His enthusiasm when I told him that I got the okay from the officials to transfer broke my heart a little and I cried it out like a baby and I thought it was because we were at ‘the lets not talk for few days’ zone. It still hurt but I was sure I was going to revert it all back when we get to meet back in Addis.
I was so psyched to see him as if all the bad things we had said to each other ever was going to be unsaid and that it was going to be a new beginning. Well at least I was right about one thing; it was a new beginning indeed. Simply put, he wanted a break up. Everything stopped existing. All was a blur.
The reasons he laid for the break up were many but probably of no use to the reader. I never thought he would leave ‘us’ because I thought he believed in ‘us’ more than I thought I ever did. In the month preceding the break up, I had made us take a picture by a professional since he had always wanted to do that. I remember telling him in case we broke up that we at least the pictures to remind us it was real. And he said that I shouldn’t talk about break ups as if he had never thought about it. And the pictures came out and I told him that we have a shot of having awesome wedding pictures. We had such a perfect day…
I will never understand his actions and I wish I never trusted his words. People tell me it is for the best and a part of me knows that I will get up tomorrow with less of him in the world but I also know that love is over rated. And that is the truth that breaks me to pieces.
medicinetokillsoul 