Archive for November, 2013

Losing me….☹

Posted: November 10, 2013 in Uncategorized
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I looked at a picture of us today and got me wondering…what was it that drives me crazy about you!?
My friend Kiko always used to ask me what I saw in you and she was right for there were a lot of flags than I imagined myself to tolerate. But I stuck in for long eventhough you gave me no reason to stay for I thought you might wake up one day to realize how great of a girl I am. But I was wrong for in trying to make you see my worth, I lost the fun-loving and sassy me that everyone loved about me. To make matters worse I am constantly finding myself doubting the me I loved. And all for a guy…
I don’t regret loving you but I regret staying in a relationship long enough to resent you and worse enough to lose me.💔

Used to

Posted: November 9, 2013 in Uncategorized
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You come and leave as you please,
Don’t mind the scars you leave.
You can’t see what is a treasure,
Seeking forevers in just a pleasure.
I see you as you were once,
The boy who knew no lies.
Trusted you with all I knew,
All was naked for you to view.
But you chose to ignore these,
My presence was suffocating,
My love was too nurturing,
My heart was dropped to hell,
Our promises just an empty shell.
This is what we are now,
Another love story gone cold.
As our yesterdays unfold.💔

Heartache

Posted: November 8, 2013 in Uncategorized
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I am crying like I used to when you broke my heart.
I woke up today and my eyes are boggy looking as if I had a hard beating. Your indifference is what is nauseating me right now. I am constantly finding myself taking care of you and I hate it. I wish I could erase you and be all happy again but I just can’t.
You know looking back I realize I made it seem so easy for you to get me. You never had to swoon me, never had to buy me expensive dinners or gifts; I never made it hard for you to be with me. I did it all because we didn’t need that and I didn’t want to be just one of the girls who played hard to get and mostly i thought you didn’t deserve that. Well you did! I see the way you are acting these days and I wish I had it in me to be that girl. And I give kudos to the girl that played hard to get because No man or boy is worth the easy way. And I mean that in a good way.
You broke me apart and all because I thought we were worth it. But you can’t see that now and I don’t think you ever will since you were never in my shoes and never had this heartache. 💔
I don’t know when it will hurt less.

For the love of Menses….

Posted: November 5, 2013 in Uncategorized
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No wonder girls have menstrual cycles!!!! If i didn’t have one right now, I would have cried my eyes off. Thank GOD I am not pregnant😊

Goodbye love

Posted: November 3, 2013 in Uncategorized
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I hate goodbyes. The pain of loving you and hating you every second of every day is killing me. I know i walk and talk as if the earth doesn’t shake on my side of the ground but I am wounded.
The truth hits me hard every day as I wake up to pray. I kneel before The Virgin Mary and pray that I have the strength to stand strong and to forgive you without letting myself fall back in your pit. I pray that I love you enough to not be misguided with hatred. But i find myself again and again lying naked next to you, staring at the ceiling praying for forgiveness.
I hate goodbyes and with each passing day, I realize with every inch of my body the inevitable truth; we are broken beyond repair. And these long hesitations to end what was already finished was our way of taking care of the pain and remembering ONLY the good times. But it hurts for a reason and the band aid is just an aid; there will still be a scar and the memory remains. It was all for good…right???

Lets post it!!!

Posted: November 3, 2013 in Uncategorized
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I am here….Happy NaBloPoMo!!!!! I am excited to join this experience as I’m loosing my sense of writing and the flow of words. I always wanted to have a blog and now when I fo have one, words abandon me. I hope I get back in the groove because I should start making sense pretty soon.