It is that time of the year now! You had left for a better life with a better future. I had hoped I would miss the date as if I was in a trans state but I guess my heart has its own tunes to remember the hurt, that left it irreversibly melt to nothing. I woke up in the middle of the night with a familiar palpitation as if I’m remembered elsewhere. I don’t know why it matters to people like me that are left alone by others to know that they mattered; that they induce palpitations in others too. But sadly it does. I still worry about your days and I won’t lie I envy the stake that you eat nowadays and wonder if you’ve turned vegetarian. I use your words to describe my appetite and people look at me bewildered by my vocabulary and I realize those were our words. But words cheat you for no one lives up to them. To have conquered them would have meant you would still be here. 


Decay in Time 

Posted: October 21, 2017 in Heartache

When I told him to leave the keys and never come back, I thought of you. And how it was possible to not be together, how it was easy to let go of my hands, how I told you to be better without me and you really are better without me. And how that makes me unworthy of staying for. You were right for leaving and never looking back. Maybe everybody else should too. 

I just read somewhere that rain is good for the soul. That winter is cold for a reason. That those who stay  when you have nothing familiar but a sweat drenched T-shirt to keep you warm are the ones who stayed. And as for you, you are the one that ran away with the first sign of a snow. I hope your bed is warm. I hope you can still sleep with yourself. Because I can’t and I am the One who stayed💔💔

Just Words…

Posted: September 12, 2017 in Heartache

…You have been my missing link, you are my happiness and you will be my salvation. I pray that I hold your hands as an old man, look back on those moments and plan a few more .. You hate your Birthday Angel but it is the day my timeline made more sense and my world made happier…
As I recite your words that I believed more than my own voice that kept telling me you won’t stay, I ache in the unfamiliriaty of who I gave up “my oxygen” to. Where are you now? 

We were there once. 

Posted: August 8, 2017 in Heartache

There is a story. On the arches and bows of your magnificent body. There lies my constellation of beautiful dreams with heartwarming endings. There lies a rock with our initials carved like a trademark. There is our innocence with formidable truth that transcended cliches. There I lie awake in the middle of the night to have conversations with your back. Words unspoken with only my eyes on your canvas of unmet promises speak to me. There used to be us. 

No Remedy

Posted: August 6, 2017 in Heartache

You ask how I’m doing,

I say I’m doing “okay”

I learned a while back,

Not to show my scars,

To those who never stay .

Now what?

Posted: July 20, 2017 in Heartache
Tags: ,

What’s missing ?

He wonders,


I lie,


No one,

Will ever


Be you!