There is beauty in sleeping your eyes out crying calling out your name. There is surrender in knowing you weren’t selfish this one last time. There is defiance in letting go of what you thought would last. But there is this huge emptiness from leaving them with these people you barely know. You’re not even enough to fit into their fists but you let it be because you know nobody can love them better than you do.
You grow up and chose the decisions that make them happy even though it means your life’s ending with every word you uttered. No “I love you” resonates and no hope is built with the ones that left. And you will always be remembered as the one who couldn’t stay but you were just trying to make it easy for the one that already left . And you don’t hate On them . They were home . What’s more than that for a woman that never fit anywhere. I hope they know better. That inspite of a barrage of unmet promises and unspoken words, unlived dreams and the “roads not taken”; you hope they realize you chose them. That they still hold your world in the palm of their hands.