A Broken Heart Still Beats!

Posted: October 2, 2014 in Heartache
Tags: , ,

Does a heartbreak have a sound?
I hear a shatter with each word unsaid, with lies that engulf the depths of who we once were. In realization of the future that waits me I am haunted by the footsteps that trod my past and besiege my existence. with each day passing by with no notice of your repentance, I die a little.

What color is a heartbreak?
I tell you it’s not black. It’s illusory to assume sadness or a loss of love is like a dark alley. My heart sinks into a deepest of blues and has frozen in the whitest of ices. My heart is pummeled into melancholy everyday as you recite my mistakes. My melancholy is as yellow as the setting sun; bright with a seeming warmth that’s ephemeral.

Does a heartbreak have a smell?
The Tommy Hilfiger that you wore last time I was happy and you smiled too often is etched to my nostrils. The dirty orange T-shirt you wore till it faded to white smelled of home. The scent of your wet hair is addictively personal. The moist sweat dripping down your masculine torso is like a pheromone to my needs. I won’t ever wash the blue sweater that you gave me even though the odor remains only in memory and your scent has evaded it with time. I smell of perfumed, earthly, virility in remembrance of you.

Last week I sat in a cafe and ordered caramel machiato without consciously knowing its attachments to my taste buds. With the first sip, tears filled my eyes insensibly. I kept praying to myself, I am better than my friends who still latch on to a memory of a deceiving a man that was never worthy. I pleaded with myself, I am an exception, for I can’t be this low. People can’t always leave me.
Caramel machiato, the lemony after taste of your lips all come back to me in fleshed flavors.

Everyday there is a novel crack to an already ravaged heart. The seconds, hours, days and months that make up for my simile of living are all wrapped up in one organ.

Tell me now, how many times does a heart break?


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