Where being safe is unsafe

Posted: July 4, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

When is vulnerability a triumph? Why is it hard to be vulnerable? How much is too much when you open yourself to new experiences? When will it ever be easy to let go of old memories and be happy about new ones?

I always find it hard to start on new paths in life. Scared? Maybe. But it isn’t just the fact I miss the people I leave behind but it is the stomach churning gut feeling that screams the loss of an era!

I feel lost in my own home now more than ever. I feel disconnected with my  own  parents. They say it gets better but does it really? Or do we just force ourselves to become part of a world we left behind far long ago. Don’t mistake me for an ungrateful child because its partly the idea of making them happy that tied me to a thing called life.

Where do I rightfully live as Elizabeth Gilbert put it. Where is my place to avoid these hurricanes of changes? I doubt that I want to be safe anymore if I must change and in the process lose the ties that awake my senses. Is being safe a tale we tell ourselves to avoid the changes that inevitably consume us?

Maybe in a week time I will ”adjust” to being mundane and return to my mediocre life for anything beyond that seems far fetched and too much to ask.

I would love to have a bottle of vodka to drain my brain out of  its misery but that too seems ordinary.

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

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