Hollow Nights

Posted: May 27, 2014 in Heartache
Tags: , ,

Every time I lie next to you, all I dream and dread is the world without you.
The bed sheets suddenly become ice cold and I feel an awkward feeling; a need to escape the reality that it was just sex! The light is off but I know your eyes are wide open and your mind is racing with what this all would mean. Though we have endured these tedious melancholic scenes too many times before and have vowed to not repeat them; here I lay naked in your arms and your bare chest moving up and down heavily next to me.
Today though, something had changed; for I wanted it all to end fast. I wanted to lie next to you as fast as possible for with our time coming to an end, all I can hold onto are these silent talks between our thoughts about what we could have been and how beautiful we once were without uttering any word.
I have lost the meaning of it all. I have seen myself in the mirror and I feel ashamed, unrecognizable, lost and scared. Have I become the woman I detest?
My tears upset you and I try as much as possible to hide them away from you but the soaked pillows give away and you bounce off the bed angry and leave me alone.
I cry not because I Miss you for you were never mine but because I loath the part of me that scrapes on our past scared of a tomorrow without you.
I hate that woman that wants to tell you that the only reason she is sleeping with you is because she needs these 15 minutes of embrace and not because she missed sex!! I hate her because she has stared at a white ceiling a lot of times before to not know how it all ends. But yet I still find her here, next to you; afraid you wont need her when she is gone.
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Comments
  1. Marian Green says:

    Your words bleed on the page.

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