I am waiting…

Posted: November 9, 2012 in Uncategorized

I remember the day we had our 1st ever night together. I was beyond excited, I was feeling everything that meant to be happy. You had to work late&i was supposed to wait for you at the hotel room I(!) booked us in. I’m astonished by my level of persecution for I’m known to be shy when it comes to renting a hotel room. But that day every part of me that ever felt shy about a guy and a girl in a hotel room had evaded me! I loved the waiting and then some more waiting. I am used to waiting for you because I think you are worth the wait. I didnt want to think what tonight would mean because somewhere in my book of morale codes that I seemed to have hidden under the rug being with you would be wrong. It would mean I’m the girl every part of me except my heart vowed to not become! And you know what they say “the heart has reasons, reasons does not know”.
Finally you came as I was sitting in an empty bath tub trying to calm my ever fleeting thoughts. I remember opening the door and looking at you was just worth the wait. Hugging you is so intimate, naked souls touching, hungry bodies giving in wondering where each has been lost for so long.
I’m frightened by how much you pull me in when im trying to stand out of range from your essence…every inch of my body wishes to be known by you. The scent of your body is an incense that lurks around my neck &hides inside my nostrils.
I remember watching “500 days of summer” with you…it was quiet a serene existence!! Showing you my favorite movie by itself is a moment I have pictured in my head so many times but to actually live every moment in better ways than I have ever imagined is unreal! I loved the way your fingers stroked my hair, my arms, my neck …! Your fingers moved with an intention but seemed so light& delicate.
This was what I have longed for so long; to feel wanted so effortlessly! Looking back I wish I could hold on to every second that moved faster than usual&never let go. But the sad reality of this world is that such moments are all what you can hold onto. The memory of it is what you can only hold on to! I wonder if you felt half of what I felt that day…I’m indeed forever scarred by what lives to be the best night of my life! And I’m still here waiting for you, craving for what seems so distant but real; waiting for you to tell me you are FINALLY here to STAY!

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