Relative living

Posted: October 14, 2012 in Uncategorized

People always lie;I lie. The truth is indeed relative and the only universal truth is LOVE!
I have lied so many times in my life because truth is hard to accept for some people. I am not ready to accept a lot of things in my life; so I’m denying the facts. In time I will be struck by a lightening of truth I can never comprehend and as always I’m going to be left with bruises and bumps that strap me a chair of sorrow.
Life doesn’t give you lemons; it gives you rotten oranges and expects you to have lemonade. The bones in me don’t have the miraculous gift of changing a rotten fruit to a ripened one. I don’t have it in me to wake up every day longing for a better day; I am tired of living. I just wonder why my existence is trouble filled, unending curve balls, unyielding fights;why?? They say I complain too much and maybe I do but maybe have any of them noticed that it might be my cry for help? Maybe I am pleading for an anchor to save me and maybe a part of me wants to live. I am praying that I find a reason to live for and don’t tell me to live for “love” because I have discovered love is overrated, at least the one I have. Nothing comes easy, not even loving someone helplessly! Because the moment you start feeling like you have found yourself the greatest love of all and start floating in cloud 9, life sticks a pin to your balloon. So why bother to live when the universe is out to get you? All the many challenges I have to fight don’t seem worth fighting for when the reason I’m fighting for is lost. If suicide was not so much of an abominable act, I would have done it long ago. GOD might be disappointed by my statement but I think I will save him the heartache of witnessing my already disappointing way of life.
I am hoping dying hurts less than living. Maybe it’s quieter out there; less vicious, less cruel, less changing, less disappointing; maybe love is more constant out there and the truth maybe less relative.
Just die and all this hurt will end!

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